DMC Sketchbook
by xdenizenx
Summary: My attempt at Devil May Cry comedy
1. Chapter 1

Part One:

A woman walks into Devil May Cry:

Woman: Hello, do you have a buckaroo in-store

Dante: (Surprised) ..um what?

Woman: This is Toys-R-us right?

Dante: ... no that's five blocks away

woman: Oh silly me, do you sell toys?

Dante: I'm a demon hunter

(The woman doesn't seem to hear, and sees Cerberus hanging on the wall)

Woman: Ohh this looks interesting

Dante: Listen Lady, that is a deadly weapon, I don't think it would be suitable for a kid

(The woman gets out her wallet, credit cards slide down to the floor)

Dante: (Eyes widen) … As I was saying, that is the new super-duper play-chucks from Japan, with freeze action! All the kids have them these days (Grins)

Woman: great, I'll take them

(The woman buys Cerberus and leaves)

Dante: Hmm, was that the right thing to do? Meh, business has been slow

* * *

Dante slams down the phone

Dante: Dammit, another wrong number, and once again asking for a dental appointment. What the hell is going on?

(Phone rings)

Dante: Devil may cry

Voice: Hello, I've just got the biggest cavity and-

Dante: For the love of- who do you think I am a dentist?

Voice: yes

Dante: what do you mean?

Voice: I looked up your number-this is Devil may cry right?

Dante: Yes

Voice: the dentist?

Dante: ...no

(Slams the phone down again)

Dante: I've got to get to the bottom of this

(Dante looks up the address, then leaves and arrives at a building. It has a giant neon devil may cry sign above it)

Dante: Gapes in shock

(Storms in and finds the owner)

Dante: Excuse me, is this place a Dentistry?

Dentist: Isn't that why your here?

Dante: Are you telling me you called a dentist Devil may cry?

Dentist: catchy huh. I thought it kinda suited the job. Dentist-devil may cry. Funny, isn't it?

Dante: Hilarious. But there is one problem-THAT NAME IS COPYRIGHTED! That name belongs to me, got that!

Dentist: Hmm, well maybe we can come to some sort of agreement...

(A few days later, Dante is looking through the ads)

Ad reads: Devil may cry! Your town/castle/toilet haunted by demons? Give us a call, and wave them goodbye-and while you're at it, get a dental check up too! While Devils are crying, you'll be smiling!

Dante: My god, what have I done!


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

(Dante is walking down the street when a man walks up to him)

Man: Excuse me, how would you like to be in a television commercial?

Dante: Are you for real?

Man: yes, its for a hair gel. You would be perfect for the part-you're very sexy!

Dante: (Awkward silence)...um, thanks, I guess...

(Dante is on the set, and sees Vergil in the corner)

Dante: Hey bro! You here for the commercial too?

Vergil: Im working with you? That wasnt in the contract...

Dante: Remember that toothpaste ad we were in when we were younger? We were the two dancing front teeth in the giant mouth and-

Vergil: shut up

Dante: (laughing)good times

(After filming, Dante and Vergil are watching the new ad)

Announcer: new body shock hair gel for rebelious hair...

(Dante has a cloud strife hair style, Vergil looks the same)

Dante: I look awesome!

Vergil: (Smug)My hair is already awesome, I didnt even use any...

Disclaimer: may result in brain damage and infertility

Dante: (Stares frozen at TV)

Vergil: ...sorry bro( Laughing his ass off)

* * *

(Dante is talking with someone on set) 

Dante: Man, I cant believe Im getting my own TV show! You know, Ive been on tv so much recently, I cant remember the last time I slayed a demon. Maybe I should give it up and become an actor!

Assistant: Maybe

Dante: "This party's getting craaaazy!" "My soul is saying it wants tostop you!" What do you think?

Assistant: Dont quit your day job.

Dante: By the way,this show is going to be called "Devil may cry" right?

Assistant: Actually, it will be called "Dante's super cool adventures"

Dante: (Blank)I guess that will do...

(Dante is on set, filming his first scene)

Director: Ok bring on the hell pride

Dante: Sweet, this is what I live for (gets out Ebony and Ivory)

Director: Cut! Sorry Dante, but you wont be able to use your guns...or your sword

Dante: ...I beg your pardon

Director: Well its been in the papers alot lately about how violent TV shows and videogames are affecting kids, so we are trying to tone down the violence

Dante: Okaaay...how do I take this guy out?

Director: Try reasoning with it, ask it why its so mad, maybe you two could become friends!

Dante: Your kidding

Director: Nope. Ok, now go into devil form

Dante: (annoyed)Whats the point if Im not going to kill anything!

Director: We need special effects to make the show look cool

Dante: (sigh) transforms

Director: Hmm...no, I dont see it

Dante: WHAT! but Im the ultimate bad-assery in devil form!(outraged)

Director: Bring in the guy in the costume

Dante: Thats it, I cant work under these conditions! I quit!

(Beowulf walks in wearing a massive t-shirt saying lets be friends!

Beowulf: Will you need me for this scene?


	3. Chapter 3

(Dante, taking a break from his demon hunting escapedes, decides to drop into his localgame storeto get a new game)

Dante: Man, its been a while since I got a new game for my PS2, what should I get next?

(Searches through shelves)

Dante: Hmmm, GTA, Gran Turismo, Devil May Cry...WHAT THE?

(Dante looks at the box in horror)

Dante: This handsome devil looks strikeingly like me! (Reads back of box) 2000 years ago...evil prince Mundus...Sparda wins...Mundus returns...Sparda's son must save world. Familiar...HEY WAIT A SEC!

(Dante takes the game home and plays through. Dante sees Alastor spear him in the chest)

Dante: (Grimaces)Ouch, that WAS unpleasant! (Plays through to the end) Its as if someone has taken part of my life and turned it into a videogame! That is so cool! But nethertheless I am outraged!

Trish: Hey, you look pissed, is your new game to hard for you?

Dante: ...Ive got to find who did this, and get my royalties!(greedy look)HehHeh (Dante turns to leave)

Trish: Whatever...bring me some tachos when you get back.

* * *

(Dante stares at the tall building in front of him. Capcom HQ. Using Trickster mad skillz he gets to the roof and breaks in, landing in the office of Shinji Mikami,producer of Devil May Cry,Reident Eviland other such awesome Capcom games.)

Dante: Domo arigato, Mr Roboto

SM: Wha-Do you have an appointment?

Dante: Cut the crap, I would like to know why I am a videogame, and without my permission! How did you know what happened on Mallet Island?

SM: We used robo-flying monkeys, who filmed your every move. Like that one behind you.

(Dante turns to see he is being filmed by a Robo-flying monkey)

RFM: Eeep eeep (Is shot by Dante)

SM: Now Dante-san, Im sure we can come to an agreement.

(Assistant walks in)

Assistant: Sir, we have just finished the rendering of the DMC4 trailer. Its good to go!

Dante: (Stunned)...Tell me he did not just say Devil May Cry Four...

SM: um...

Dante: One game is bad enough, but you've made a videogame**Series **of my life, WITHOUT MY PEMISSION! Thats just creepy!

SM: I assure you, we can reach an understanding (Sips some coffee from hismug)

Dante: (Angry stare)Why does it say Devil May Cry on that mug?

SM: (Quickly covers mug) No it doesnt! (Smiles nervously)What makes you think that! (Knocks Dante action figure off table)

(It is at this point Dante notices the posters, the dmc t-shirt Shinji is wearing, the key-rings on his keys and the sheets on his desk, with plans for Dante Cup-holders, storybooks and cereal.

Dante: (Looks at cereal box) "Mmmm, devilishious!" WHAT THE HELL!

SM: ...

Dante: I AM A FRANCHISE! THATS IT! YOU ARE SOOOOOOO SUED BIATCH!(Evil laugh)

(AT home)

Dante: Oh yeah, we are going to be living easy for a while!

Trish: Thats great, by the way I got an A on mission 14, DMD

Dante: Aw hell naw! How could you get a better grade then me! (Grabs controller and starts playing)


	4. Chapter 4

Well I'm back here after the hols lol. Yep I had a god xmas :) Without further ado.. (Oh yeah Final Fantasy reference coming up)

* * *

(Dante is sitting in an empty room, watching a TV) 

On TV: Hello and welcome to the Jerry Springer show! Our first issue today is "My father is a giant mutant fish" (Words appear on screen)

Tidus: I don't know where to start. I've had a difficult life; I'm a dream created by an ancient civilization and...

Dante: Wow, and I thought I had issues... Hey it's almost time for me to come on!

(On set)

JS: Ok, its time for our next problem, "My brother refuses to attain power" Please welcome, Vergil!

(Vergil arrives and audience applaudes as hetakes a seat)

JS: Ok Vergil, start us off.

Vergil: My idiot brother is an unambitious fool. With the combined power of our amulets, we could control the world and bring a new age of demonic rule! But all he wants to do is party and eat pizza!

JS: I see. Let's bring on Dante!

(Dante walks on set and goes to sit next to Vergil)

Dante: Yo! Im talkin' Downtown!

(Silence)

JS: Dante, you've heard what Vergil said offset, is it true what he is saying?

Dante: Meh, I like crazy parties

Vergil: See? Always with the crazy parties! I blame my father, he disappeared when we were kids; I had the sense to retrieve his power to keep the family legacy going, but I had to look after this screw-up as well

Dante: (Jumps on Vergil) Shut the f(beep)up!

Vergil: You shut the f(beep) up! (Security breaks it up)

Audience: Jerry! Jerry!

JS: Ok calm down. We've got a surprise for you two. Bring on the Father!

(Sparda walks on set, audience goes nuts)

Dante+Vergil: WHAT THE HELL!

Sparda: I'm disappointed in both of you. Vergil, If I went through all the trouble of saving the world from the soldiers of hell, why the would I want you to release them and start over? And Dante...well what can be said?

Dante: Shut up you asshole

Vergil: You are one sh(beep)father! (Another fight breaks out)

Audience: Jerry! Jerry!

JS: Coming up: "My father is a perverted clown thing" See you after the break.**

* * *

**

(Dante walks down the street, when a mysterious figure appears in front of him)

Dante: Who are you?

Mysterious figure: (Throws back his cloak) I'm the Prince of Persia, and I've come to kick your ass. No one insults the Prince of Persia!

Dante: What are you talking abo-

PoP: Shut up! Behold your demise! (Gets out Sands of time.) With these I can control time, and attack so fast you wont know what happened!

(The Prince slows time to punch Dante. Dante uses quicksilver and steps out the way)

Dante: Yawn

PoP: Damn…

(Dante stabs the prince, but time is reversed, and the prince dodges it)

Dante: (Stares in surprise) What the? (!)

Pop: You fool! With the Sands of time, I am untouchable!

(Dante chops of the Prince's hand that was holding the Sands of time)

PoP: Aw cra- (Is decapitated)

(Suddenly Link appears)

Link: Hyaaa! Shra! Seyaaa!

Dante: okaaay

(Link charges at Dante, and after a fancy sword fight, is defeated by Dante)

(Pikachu appears out of nowhere)

Pikachu: Pika pi?

Dante: Um...Pikachu Pika?

Pikachu: PIKACHU! (Thunderbolts Dante)

Dante: GAHHHHHHHH You pissing little rat! (Dante goes Trigger happy on pika, who dies in a pool of blood)

Dante: Always wanted to do that! But why the hell is everyone trying to kill me? (Leavesdarting paranoidglances everywhere)

As Dante walks off, out of the shadows emerges...a shadow?

Doopleganger: Mwahaha, my plan is going perfectly, all I have to do is impersonate Dante and insult random people, and Dante takes the rap! All I had to do was call the Prince of Persia a sulky brat, tell Link he looks like a girl, and kick Pikachu around a bit. Well, a lot. Who will be next? HAHAHAHA

...Who the hell am I talking to? (Walks off)

DUM DUM DUUUUUM! Will Dante realise he has unwittingly become part of a cruel prank? How will he be able to stop his shadow/clone thing? Find out same time, same channel!

Actually whenever I can come up with the next part.


	5. Chapter 5

(When we last left Dante, he was in the middle of a ruckus with random videogame heroes. Little did he know it was down to the mischief of his evil shadow doopleganger. Finding a friend at a local juice bar, he turns to her for help)

(At the Juice bar)

Lady: So let me get this straight, random people/monsters/things are trying to kick your ass for no reason? Well could it have something to do with the fact you're an annoying, cocky idiot?

Dante: (Angry stare) No it's not that. Just today I got in a fight with Kratos...

Lady: Beat him?

Dante: Oh yeah ...and Kirby

Lady: You fought Kirby?

Dante: Yes, and it's not an experience I would like to relive… But anyway, it's my evil shadow Doopleganger that's behind this!

xdenizenx: (Oh yeah, Dante figured it out because...he's cool)

Dante: Who are you?

xdenizenx: Erm, never mind me (throws a smoke bomb and disappears)

Dante: (Looks at smoke in confusion) ...The point is that I need your help so I can find my evil shadow and defeat him, Mary

Lady: (Gets out Kalina Ann) Don't ever call me Mary!

Dante: Ok, sorry... (Issues)

Some random over hearer: You're going to fight your shadow? How the hell did you get drunk on juice? What a prat!

Dante: Hey shut up

Lady: Fine, I'll help you, just let me finish my carrot juice

Dante: eurgh... hehehe

Lady: What is it?

Dante: My pager is vibrating, it tickles

Lady: …

Who is this mysterious message from? Will Dante find his devilish impostor? Find out… now

* * *

(When we last left Dante, he was requesting help to find and defeat his evil shadow, Doopleganger. Suddenly, he receives a message on his pager. Who could it be?) 

Doopleganger: Mwahahaha, sup Dante, how's it hanging?

Dante: (Types message angrily) Shut up a-hole, your ruining my reputation! When I find you, I'm going to kill you!

Doopleganger: (Texts back) Oh don't worry, you will see me soon. In fact, I'm watching you right now! Look at the tall building behind you.

Dante: (Dante looks at the tall building, and sees Doopleganger waving through a window)

Dante: (Fingers start to hurt from button mashing) Ok, you stay there, so I can come over and kick your ass.

Doopleganger: (rolls his eyes from the window) I'll be waiting.

Lady: um, don't you think it sounds like a trap?

Dante: Maybe, but the only way to find out is to spring it. Let's go!

Lady: (Sarcastic) I admire you're logic

(After much running, as the lift wasn't working, they make it to the top. Dante and Lady have an epic battle with Doopleganger, who is defeated. It may have had something to do with all the easily- turned on lights in the room)

Doopleganger: Damn, how could I have missed those! Oh well, it doesn't matter, as this building is laden with explosives, which I just activated. Detonation in two minutes. Mwahahaha (dies)

Lady: We have just two minutes to get out before the building explodes!

xdenizenx: Oh yeah, now it's an action flick

Lady: …?

xdenizenx: bye (disappears)

(Dante and Lady flee down the stairs, when a bunch of hell spawn appear out of nowhere)

Lady: They weren't there before! (Dante gets out Nevan and plays a heavy tune, wiping them all out)

Lady: Hey Dante I always wondered, how can you carry three swords, a freaking huge guitar, gauntlets, and five guns around with you?

Dante: (Smug) I have big pockets ...Hmm, we won't make it this way, maybe we should smash through a window.

Lady: Wouldn't we fall to our deaths?

Dante: You're forgetting that someone can fly! (well, to be honest it's more of a crappy hover)

Lady: Oh yeah (They smash through the window and glide down to safety, just as the building explodes behind them)

Dante: That was easy. Doopleganger was only a shadow of my power!

Lady: (groans)

Comic book guy: Worst...final line...ever!

Dante: (hangs head in shame)

**The End...?**

Nah I got something else planned ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Hmm havent updated in a while...

Heres a three-parter to make up for it :) (Oh this one's kinda crude...enjoy)

* * *

(Dante is sitting at his desk at Devil May Cry. He is very bored)

Dante: Oh man, I'm sooo bored. Apart from my job, I really don't get out that much. I should go outside, just to enjoy the fresh air and the world around me.

(Dante goes to the door and swings it open, slamming it into the face of a guy standing behind it and knocking him to the floor.)

Dante: Whoah, sorry man, didn't know anyone was there (embarrassed) ...oh it's just you.

(Dante sees its Arkham lying on the floor)

Arkham: Oh thats ok, I'm used to it(grins widely) I came to make an offer. How would you like to star in a play, made by me?

Dante: (Blank)...AHAHAHAHAHA! Why the hell would I want to do that?

Arkham: Well from what I've seen, you havent had a lot of clients lately. I'm guessing business isn't going well

Dante: Are you kidding! Ever since I became a videogame idol, I've been celebrity endorsing products left, right and centre. Check this out.

(Puts videotape into TV)

Announcer: Dante's mean, lean, grilling machine!

Dante: (On TV) It's so gud, I put ma name on it!

Arkham: Very well. Remember that crazy party you held last month?

Dante: (laughs) Oh yeah, that WAS crazy

Arkham: Indeed. Remember that tall woman standing in the dark, dark corner you were making out with?

Dante: Yeah, she was hawt!

Arkham: And did she say (puts on voice) "_Oh Dante, I lurve your big sword"_

Dante: (still oblivious)Um, yeah. How do you know that?

(The moment draws out for a while, eventually... Dante gets the point)

Dante: Oh...my...God

Arkham: Oh yes. That was fun! And if you don't sign up for my play, the world will know! Bwahahaha

Dante: Noooooooooooo! If this gets out, Vergil will never let me live it down! Ok… I'll do it (looking sick)

Arkham: Splendid. Rehearsals are tomorrow

* * *

When we last left Dante he had been blackmailed with..._unpleasantness..._ by Arkham to star in his play. How are rehearsals going? Lets have a look! 

(Dante is standing on stage, rehearsing lines)

Dante: Now I shall defeat you once and for all

Arkham: No, no, no, where is the passion, the emotion!

Dante: (sigh) **Now, I shall defeat you once and for all!**

Arkham: Emote, dammit! Emote! My heart isn't bleeding!

Dante: (Rips off jacket and gets on knees) **Now...I shall defeat you! Once. And. For. ALLLLLLLLLLLL!**

Arkham: (Grudgingly) Getting better, I suppose

Dante: What is the plot of this travesty anyway?

Arkham: You, the hero of the story, are a nameless tramp who joins the circus, where you adopt the name the great Dabini. You amaze audiences with your juggling skills. An unpopular but misunderstood clown, played by Jester (me!) becomes jealous of your talent so curses you, meaning anyone who witnesses you juggle gets explosive diarrhoea! Everyone flees, and you believe this is because everyone thinks your act sucks, so you leave the circus and vow never to juggle again. Then suddenly the emperor of the demon world arrives on Earth and threatens to destroy it! You are the world's only hope. Your curse suddenly becoming a gift, you banish the devil lord away by giving him diarrhoea, everyone is happy and you are loved once again. The end!

Dante: I see. Excuse me while I go shoot myself.

Arkham: (Laughs) Oh don't be silly, you know it will be magnificent! Besides, I replaced your guns with prop guns in case you tried to take the easy way out. Hey look behind you. (Makes stage curtain rise)

(Dante turns)

Dante: (Gapes upwards) Whoah! (Dante stares up at what appears to be a giant statue, that begins to move about erratically.)

Arkham: Behold Mundus, The Emperor of hell! (Or a robot version, at least.)

Robo-Mundus: (In a massive, booming voice)** I AM MUNDUS OVERLORD OF HELL** (breathes fire)

Dante: (stunned)What the hell is your budget?(!)

Arkham: I had to do a lot of favours, tee hee

Dante: I didn't want to know that…

Arkham: Anyway, back to practising your lines. The first showing is in two days! And for Goodness sake,** emote!**

Dante: (angry) Is that even a word?

* * *

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for the show to start! 

(Its the big opening night. The audience isn't exactly big, but a lot Dante's friends, relatives and associates are there.)

Vergil: (Holding camera, quite happy for a change) This is going to be good

(Arkham walks on stage)

Arkham: Good evening everyone. Our story begins (spreads arms) _In sooooooooong..._

Lady: (Gets out pistol) The hell it does!

Arkham: (Glares) Fine. Let the show begin.

(The show goes on. Dante is on stage, wearing a jester costume.)

Dante: Whenever I try to entertain people, they run away holding their butts. Does no one love Dabini the clown? (cries)

Vergil: This is… the greatest day of my life

Agni: Why does all the supporting cast look so strange?

Rudra: Yes brother, they look like uglier versions of Jester

Arkham: (Appearing beside them) They're all possesed Marrionettes, I got them cheap. That's your dad, huh Mary.

Lady: I hate you.

(The show approaches its finale.)

Mundus: **Now I shall rule over this world, and destroy you, Son of Sparda!**

Dante: Eh? That's not your line... (Dante looks around for help. Arkham mouths "emote" at him. Dante gives Arkham the finger)

Mundus: **Die!** (Shoots flame at Dante, which Dante narrowly evades.)

Dante: Whats going on?

Arkham: Oh No! This want supposed to happen!

Vergil: What do you mean?

Arkham: Well, the robo-Mundus had some technical difficulties. We couldn't build a replacement in time, so I summoned the real Mundus, on the promise he would be in my play, and not kill everyone. Pfft, trust a devil-God to go back on his promises...

Agni+Rudra: We're going to die!

Arkham: The show must go on! Great Dabini, you are our only hope! You must use your special power to defeat Mundus!

Dante: Dude, I'm playing a character, I cant actually-

Arkham: Believe!

Dante: (sigh) (Dante begins to juggle. Mundus stares, wondering why a Juggling freak is getting in the way of his demonic conquest.

Mundus: **What are you**... (Freezes in horror)...**What the hell**...**um, I have to go now. But we will meet again!** (Disappears awkwardly)

Dante: (Rolls eyes) Yeah, I'm sure that will happen…

Arkham: Dante, you did it! You gave the prince of darkness diarrhoea, banishing him away!

Vergil: ...Your kidding right?...

Arkham: And it's all because you believed in yourself!

Dante: Well actually, in all the panic and confusion, I just threw some laxatives into his mouth. Um, the end! (Bows)

(Curtain falls)

**The End**


	7. Chapter 7

(Dante is in a meeting with Capcom execs about his DMC videogame series)

Exec no.1: Ok D

Dante: (Leaning back in his chair) Dante to you

Exec no.1: Fine. Your videogames are a huge success, but we can make them bigger.We think its time we took Devil May Cry in a new direction

Dante: Dude I'm awesome, it doesn't need to change…

Exec no.2: (Heh heh): Sir, do you know what videogame was at the top of the Christmas charts?

Dante: um...DMC3?

Exec no.2: No, it was Need for speed underground 2! That's the problem, although your games are popular, we don't feel they appeal to the (does quotey finger things) "mass market".

Exec no.1: Hence the change in direction. Your game's music, fighting moves and weapons are based on "Rock music", right?

Exec no.2: Hmm, I don't know. The way you dress, your one liners, they're so 80's B movie

Dante: (Stunned) Are you insane! (Yells indignantly) My one-liners are awesome! Dont diss my fashion sense either.

Exec no.1: You're going to love this. We have decided to change the theme of the games from Gothic rock to...hip-hop!

Dante: …

Exec no.2: Don't worry; we know what we're doing…

* * *

(Dante begins filming cut-scenes for the next DMC game. He is wearing a hoodie and covered in bling) 

Dante: So these are my new lines? (Reads list) ..."Shizzle my nizzle?" "Quiet fool before I bust a cap in yo' ass!" You guys really think these are better than my one-liners? ...I'm insulted!

Exec 1: Dante, we really think this new urban look will help your games sell better. Trust us, we're marketing professionals.

Dante: Yes I'm sure you are (Rolls eyes)

Exec no.2: Ok, come in Vergil, let's see how you look

(Vergil reluctantly enters, wearing a backwards baseball cap and sports top)

Dante: (Jaw drops to floor)...ZOMG! You look like a jackass! (Laughs hysterically)

Vergil: (Turns to execs) I despise you both intensely. My hair is ruined! (attends to it in annoyance)

Exec no.1: (On phone, not listening) that's great Vergil, now read your lines

Vergil: ...Im not saying this

Exec no.2: Come on Vergil, you have to.

Vergil: There is **no** way I'm saying that…

Exec no.2: All you have to say is "Yo homie, sup blad"

Dante: Unngh, it's just not right. Gothic rock and demon-slaying go together like, well…me and crazy parties!

Exec no.1: Ah yes, we took out the stuff about devils and hell and such

Dante: Oh for the love of…eejits, what pray tell, is the title of this game? Perhaps your meddling just a liiiiitle bit too far…

Vergil: Yes, and I seriously have to maintain what's left of my dignity

Dante: It's a bit late for that... (Laughs again)

Vergil: (pissed off) Quiet you

* * *

(A while later, a preview of the game is piloted in front of gamers. The results come back) 

Exec no.1: This is terrible! They hate it!

Vergil: (Voice is as sarcastic as is physically possible) No. I am shocked.

Exec no.2: You know what this means?

Dante: (Gets out Nevan and plays some cords) We go back to rock!(?)

Exec: no.2: Its means it's not gangsta enough! We need to give Dante a pimped out-

(Vergil gets out Yamato and decapitates both executives)

Dante: What took you so long?... Want to go outfor frosty chocolate milkshakes?

Vergil: ...Yes

**The End**

(Yes, Im a Simpsons fan ;) )


	8. Chapter 8

Yes I know, this update took abit long. Between essays and life in general, I barely had time to write this at all ;)

Well enjoy

* * *

(Vergil is sitting outside a café, drinking some tea. Dante strolls up behind and taps him on the shoulder. Vergil turns, cup in hand, and Dante slaps him in the face with a glove)

Vergil: (Spluttering) Do you have a death wish…

Dante: (Grinning) Nope. I'm challenging you to a duel.

Vergil: (Smiles) I see. So you want to be humiliated again.

Dante: Hey! Yelling "sock puppets" to make me turn around was unfair. Taking advantage of my one fear like that is low!

Vergil: Fine, whatever. I accept your challenge.

Dante: Great. Head for the arcades at six

Vergil: The arcades…?

Dante: Yeah the challenge is a dance off. Well, see you there (Runs off before Vergil can respond, laughing like hell)

(Vergil is left standing there, mouthing "WTF," wondering what he has gotten himself into.)

* * *

Vergil stared around him at all the lights and annoying noises. So this was the arcade. He had never been here before…too many damned kids running around. Sighing, Vergil made his way through the crowd, swiping a kid's tickets on the way. They might go towards that monkey soft toy he had seen near the entrance…He quickly shook the thought from his mind. _No! Must maintain bad-ass image!_ he reminded himself.

There was Dante, standing by a dancing machine.

Vergil: You… are an ass

Dante: C'mon Vergil… you agreed to a duel, now you have to go through with it. Pfft, you and your honour…when will you learn to have no shame like me!

Vergil reluctantly stepped up to the machine with his brother. Dante selected the song "Dancing queen". Vergil made a mental note to make Dante's death as unpleasant and drawn out as possible.

Dante: (Swinging his legs back and forth on the pod) Your hardly trying…this should be an easy win.

(Vergil shuffles around awkwardly. A group of eight-year old girls stops to watch and giggle.)

Dante: We've got fangirls already!

Vergil: _I have to make him pay…somehow_ Vergil thought. (He looks at the scores: he has a D ope and Dante has S weet.) So it's a dance off you want, brother? Bring it on.

(Vergil steps his game up, and starts to catch up in points. Dante does the same. There's now a large crowd, half cheering them on, the rest filming with their digital cameras. Dante and Vergil were about to become internet stars!)

Game ends- Dante: SS howtime Vergil: SSS tylish

Dante: Aww crap. (Look of utter loss on his face)

Vergil: _Should I be feeling smug or embarrassed?_ He thought to himself. _Meh, smug seems preferable_.

* * *

(Later on)

Vergil: Well that's yet another win for me. (Glance at the toy monkey on his lap with a secret smile)

Dante: At least we know who's the best at tiddlywinks...

Vergil: ( Rolls eyes) Fine, I'll give you that

Dante: I'm not going to end with a loss. Staring contest! Now!

Vergil: You're on (They stare intently at each other…)

(…They're still staring…)

(…This could take a while…)

The End


End file.
